Divorce and the Aging Family

This week’s class discussion focused on Divorce and the Aging family. This is something that I feel most of us face or see in our own families. First off it causes heartache, not surprising to anyone. For parents, it causes pain, depending on the situation it can cause major frustration. This is usually the cause of problems that have never been resolved and continue to a breaking point. Another reason that it may have happened is because of infidelity. Some find their spouse talking with someone else intimately, either virtually or in person. They may also find them having sexual relations with another person. The question is, is it good that a person divorces because of infidelity, abuse, and other problems. In a study shown they answered that divorce can be good and also no. Divorce can be good in the sense that those who divorce go through personal growth, increase optimism, spiritual comfort, and improved communication and conflict skills. Also, those who were in high distress marriage report to increase happiness. Even if divorce is a very traumatic experience for the person, after a while they adapt to it and some come to view it as a turning point in their life necessary for their health. Although this is not the case with everyone, some may take divorce as a negative experience. It has been know to also affect physical and emotional health. A big part of it is due to the stress that the couple goes through. Stress may come from parents thinking about their kids in this hard situation. Sometimes divorce is not counted as an option for these parents. They may know that it can play a hard toll on their children, so they may decide to stick through their unpleasant relationship just for their children. Children are impacted largely because they want to be with both of their parents whom they love. They do not want to see them fighting and they do not want to see someone else take the spot of their dad or mom. Another issue that may never completely connect with the children is when their mother and father marry someone else. They may not look at this person as a parental figure in their life, the most that it will be is a friend that they can trust. Some children have a hard time accepting this new person in their life as well, for the children they just want to their mother and their father together. This may be hard when one of their parents passes away as well. This also causes a change in the family structure, most big problems that lead to discipline should be done by the biological parent due to the fact the child will obey them more than their step-parent. The relationship between the step-parent and the child is also one that may need a keen awareness due to the fact they can’t act like they are their parents because the child may have a negative thought about that step-parent. This should be done in a light manner and with patience. As I said before the biological parent should be the one that takes the responsibility of things and that is one of the other changes that happen in the family structure. Life can never go back the same, the biological parent and the step-parent must come together and make plans how are the children going to be raised, who can take the role of disciplining the children and when, also depending on the case, when they should bring the children to see their other biological parent. Sometimes I feel there are drastic measures that should be counted for in this big decision. We need to take a step back and look at what is the problem in your relationship with your spouse and ask yourself is this truly something I need to get frustrated about to go to the point of getting a divorce. If it isn't ask yourself what you can do to resolve those problems.