Communication and Mutual Problem Solving

This week of class we discussed Communication and Mutual Problem Solving. It is hard not to communicate because communication is more than just talking. Some ways that we communicate are through our words, tone, and non-verbal. Most of the time we communicate through our body language. Some may say that they are sad, but if you look at them, they are smiling and are very jumpy, which is the opposite of being sad. Also, the manner that they say things express something completely different from what they are saying. Take for instance sarcasm, you may know people who talk in this way, but actually, they do not really mean what they are saying.  One of the biggest problems that most people resort to receive help from family therapists is communication. It’s not surprising due to the rise of communication through cellular devices. If you want to send a message to a grandparent across the world they can instantly receive that message through text messaging. They can talk to their friends whenever they, and wherever they want. It is honestly amazing how much we can progress, but of course, it does cause some problems as well. People, the youth especially are learning more about how to communicate with one another through text, and lose more learning opportunities to communicate with others in person. It doesn’t come to surprise that when they get married they have a hard time communicating with their spouse. They might have had an easier time texting them than actually talking with them. One of the main problems that arise is the power struggle in marriage and how wedded couples make big decisions together. In life, we usually can make a decision and do the things that you want, but when you add a person to be with you at your side, your whole line of thinking changes. Sometimes it does not change though, one of the wedded couples makes all of the decisions while the other passively agrees with what they decide. This is not the case with everyone though, some hate or get frustrated when they cannot get their opinion across. Usually, arguments start with this difference of opinion and then leads to a problem of who holds the power in the couple. Something that we learned in class though it is alright to have differences. Each person has their own likes and dislikes. Feelings and aspirations that they hold are not expressed, frustrations and doubts are not told, and most of them just want that to get their opinion across to their spouse. So the way to do this is through consensus. This is when each person can express their feelings and opinion and can agree and disagree with each other, then they start finding ways to make it so that a decision can be made that both of them agree upon. Sometimes both will not come with the same answer immediately, it may take many days and that is alright. What this does is create a balance in the family and wedded couple due to each having the ability to express their feelings and in the end being able to make a decision in which they both can agree on. Although each person needs to show actual interest in what the other person is saying and listen to them even when it is something you do not like. We need to also make sure to try not to interrupt the other person, if we do it shows to the other person that we are not listening to them or that we do not care what they are saying.